


signal

by aaaaaibou



Category: Bleach, Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, M/M, Slow Burn, because obviously, pacrim au, very lowkey ptsd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 02:19:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15426879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aaaaaibou/pseuds/aaaaaibou
Summary: noun; a prearranged convention of bidding or play intended to convey information to ones partner.Ichigo is thirteen when the first kaiju attacks, fifteen when his mum dies, and twenty two when he stops being a ranger. Twenty four in the tenth year of the kaiju war, and only just learning that its okay to not want to be alone.





	signal

Ichigo is thirteen when the first kaiju attacks; he remembers it by the smell of his dad’s burnt cooking, his mother ushering him, Shiro and his sisters away from the television. Climbing into Shiro’s bed and trying to stop his hands from shaking, Yuzu and Karin crawling in afterwards, the four of them cramped but secure in each other’s arms.

When the fourth kaiju, codenamed Gran Fisher, lands in Karakura almost two years later, Ichigo is half a block from his home and hits the ground just as the kaiju comes crashing into his street. The pavement under him shakes and rattles his teeth, but Ichigo finds the strength to get up and run, run, _run_ until he’s standing where his home is- is _supposed to be_.

Two years later and his dad moves them near the Tokyo Shatterdome, one of the smallest and with the least number of jaegar’s. Yuzu and Karin start helping their dad with his practice, running around after him and carrying things- and people- when needed. Ichigo lets Shiro talk him into fist fights and skipping work more often than he should, and somehow Ichigo is convinced to sign up for the jaegar program- a half-witted decision if he really thinks about it.

When they come home with the sign-up sheet in hand, their dad is only half surprised.

Ichigo is twenty two when he wakes up panting, his shirt and sheets soaked through, and runs a hand through his sweat damp hair. It’s not the first time, and it certainly won’t be the last, but Ichigo feels like every nightmare- every dream that starts with he and Shiro gearing up, and ends with horrific screams and an empty conn-pod- is growing less and less vivid, like its being washed away with soapy water.

Eventually the dream fades away completely, buried under forced smiles and his families shared grief. _First mum,_ Yuzu whispers one night, nestled in the cradle of Ichigo's arms, Karin tucked up on her other side. _Now Shiro._ Ichigo stays away from the jaegar bay, and when even that’s not enough, his dad shows him a sign up sheet that reads something about extra hands needed in mechanics.

“It’s in America,” Ichigo reads, and his eyes flicker up to meet his dad’s. The old man smiles, something barely recognizable and so familiar in that look, that makes Ichigo almost start shaking.

“I know,” and they move.

-

Twenty four and Ichigo still shares a room with his sisters, even if the two of them are never there when he wakes up. Despites the long hours and heavy lifting, Ichigo is grateful for the little sleep in he gets every morning, when he knows Yuzu and Karin will be climbing out of bed at some ridiculous hour before him, always quiet even if Ichigo sleeps like the dead.

He runs a hand through his hair, fingers coming to longer tips than he remembers, and notes that he needs a haircut; it’s getting unruly, and soon he’ll need to tie it up.

Year Ten of the Kaiju War, and Kurosaki Ichigo is a mechanic in the jaegar bay of the Anchorage Shatterdome. Most days he wakes up from a dreamless sleep, aching with the knowledge of a hard day’s work behind him, and another ahead. Occasionally he jerks awake with a deep breath and a sharp pain shooting through his skull, like his head’s about to split right down the middle, but the feeling fades, he climbs out bed, and Ichigo moves on. Those days are far and few between, and Ichigo forgets them almost immediately.

-

Ichigo meets Grimmjow by accident. He’s walking through the upper levels of the jaegar bay, one hand tugging at his hair- he keeps meaning to get it cut, then keeps forgetting almost straight away- while his eyes skirt over the clipboard in his other, and practically slams into the other man, as slow as he was walking.

He has an apology on his tongue, when the blue haired man hisses out a, “watch it, runt!” and stalks away. Ichigo blinks rapidly, before the words in his mouth turn sour and he forcefully swallows the, _asshole!_ that threatens to escape him.

The next day Ichigo’s sitting down to lunch in the mess hall, Yuzu and Karin across from him on the rare day that they all manage to catch one another, when someone drops their lunch tray on the table and falls into the bench seat beside Ichigo.

“You’re the shit that ran into me yesterday, right?” the asshole asks, and tilts his head back so all Ichigo can see is blue hair and blues eyes and, _that cannot be natural._ Across the table Karin’s expression darkens into a scowl, while Yuzu just blinks in confusion.

Ichigo does a great impression of both looks, while his mind tries to recall what exactly the asshole in front of him is talking about, and when he does remember- it had been like walking into a solid brick wall, for Christ’s sake- he reels back like he’s been burnt.

“What do you want?” Ichigo finally manages, after collecting himself and turning back to his lunch. His time is short, and he doesn’t want to waste it on people who don’t matter, especially with his sisters right there- god forbid he start a fight with them in viewing position, although he has half the mind to wonder if Karin would jump in and help. [The answer is a likely yes.]

The man, and now that Ichigo gives him a good sidelong glance, he looks even _more_ foreign than he and his sisters do, blue hair aside. Strong jaw and wide mouth, blue eyes and tan skin, and not to mention his accented English; Ichigo can’t even begin to pin him down.

“You’re the mechanic working on Bravo, right?” the foreigner says, either oblivious of the hostility being directed his way, or keen on the ass kicking that Karin looks like she’s willing to dish out.

He doesn’t want to say it out loud, especially not to this dickhead, but the clipboard under his food tray says _Pantera Bravo_ in neat blocky letters, not unlike the jaegar itself, and something twists in Ichigo’s stomach at the knowing look on the blue haired man’s face.

“You’re the pilot, I take it?” he says, careful to stay neutral. Grimmjow Jaegarjacquez in the flesh, and it’s not hard to believe that this man is half responsible for the six kaiju kills that are tacked under the Bravo’s name. Grimmjow snorts and stabs his food with his fork, something half-hearted about his actions that throws Ichigo by surprise.

He doesn’t answer Ichigo, instead turning to his food and eating in silence, leaving Ichigo to his sisters and the strange man sitting beside him. He chats with Yuzu, because this is a rare opportunity, and quietly agrees with Karin’s wariness about Ichigo’s bench buddy.

“ _He’s not what I expected_ ,” Karin says in their mother tongue.

“ _It’s rude to talk about people like they’re not here,”_ Grimmjow cuts in before Ichigo gets a chance to reply, in accented but otherwise perfect japanese. Karin snaps her eyes to the blue haired man, ears burning in embarrassment, and ducks her head down.

Ichigo meets Grimmjow two weeks after the Pantera Bravo is brought to the Anchorage Shatterdome, and almost immediately doesn’t like him.

-

Two months later and Ichigo is walking along the catwalk of the Bravo’s hangar, tugging his welding gloves off with his teeth and tucking them into his back pockets, when he comes across a familiar body leaning against the railing. It’s not uncommon for Grimmjow to oversee, or as Ichigo can tell skulk about, the jaegar, but usually by the time Ichigo finishes his daily check ups- and has managed to ignore the man drilling a hole into the back of his head- Grimmjow is gone, off to stalk around the shatterdome or do whatever it is that he does.

Not for the first time does the urge to simply _ask_ rise to the forefront of Ichigo’s mind, his curiosity trying to get the better of him, but Ichigo squashes the feeling down and instead ignores the ranger, eager to check in and maybe knock off early if he’s lucky.

As it is, Ichigo’s never been all that lucky; he’s had some twenty plus years to learn this the hard way.

“They’re moving her back to Panama,” Grimmjow says, as if he was talking to himself, but the way he turns to give Ichigo a hard look says otherwise. “Next week.”

Next- next _week_? Ichigo almost chokes, blindsided by the news. He doesn’t know if he should believe Grimmjow, as he’s never really given Ichigo much reason to trust him, but the flat line of his mouth and pinched brow say a lot for him, as if he were trying not to scream and fall asleep all at once. Ichigo knows the feeling well.

His voice is hoarse when he says, “But she’s fine, nothing’s wrong with her. Why?”

Grimmjow- shrugs, looks away from Ichigo and stares up at the Pantera Bravo’s metallic chest. “Figure they got sick of watching me fuck around. Guess they found some rangers willing to replace me.”

“Replace you?” Ichigo doesn’t want to know, he really doesn’t, but the curiosity that’s been simmering along the edge of his mind for week now is starting to surface again, and at this point he feels like Grimmjow’s practically baiting him. Truth be told, he’s been wondering why he never sees Grimmjow with anybody, knows the old habits of rangers that pilot together; remembers the way that he’d practically become Shiro’s shadow-

With a sharp breath Ichigo pulls back from the memories that threaten to overcome him, and pretends that for a moment his hands didn’t shake. He’s steady when Grimmjow gives him another look, like Ichigo is the one missing the point, before the bigger man turns and stalks away.

-

That night, Ichigo listens to the sound of his sisters sleeping in the bunk opposite his own, stares up at the bed above his, and wonders what his brother would say.

 _You’ll be fine,_ the Shiro in his memory laughs. _Don’t be afraid. Buck the fuck up._

It’s almost three in the morning when he finally crawls out of bed, already sick of trying- and failing- to even get a little bit of sleep, and tugs on his heaviest coat and pulls the hood up. If the days are cold, the nights are even worse, out here in Alaska. Ichigo remembers his training days, spent in the snow, and wonders if it was always this cold, or he’d just never noticed.

Ichigo isn’t surprised to find the shatterdome active and awake, a continuous buzz that keeps the people working aware of every little thing. When he passes the night guards, two unshaven men that Ichigo barely remembers the names of, he gives them a knowing nod and flashes his I.D, offers a short smile that almost gets returned, before taking the familiar route to Pantera Bravo’s bay. He’s equally unsurprised to find the object of his restlessness leaning across the metallic walkway, and Ichigo wonders what Grimmjow’s partner was like.

He doesn’t voice his question; makes a noise in the back of his throat so Grimmjow at least knows Ichigo is there- it’s unlikely that the ranger hasn’t noticed, Ichigo knows about his shockingly attune reflexes- and comes to stand beside him, elbows almost touching as he leans across the railing.

Ichigo doesn’t know what to say. In the three months that the Bravo has been in his care, and some two or so months of knowing of Grimmjow, Ichigo’s never actually had to deal with the pilot in close quarters. Sure, there was that surprise lunch visit- and look how well that had gone- and there have been a few words tossed here and there, usually when Ichigo is knee deep in jaegar parts, but they’ve never actually held a proper conversation. For more than a minute, at least.

So when Ichigo means to say, _hey_ , what ends up coming out is, “what happened?” and Ichigo wishes not for the first time that he weren’t so damn impulsive.

Shockingly, Grimmjow doesn’t look like he’s going to punch Ichigo in the face, so he adds that to points of personality for Grimmjow. The other man turns to give him the barest side glance, if you can call it that, and barks a piercing laugh that sounds hollow and raw.

Ichigo looks away. He knows that laugh.

“My sister,” Grimmjow finally says, after what feels an eternity of shared silence between them. “Around six months ago.” Then, he really turns and gives Ichigo his full attention, just as Ichigo manages to remember _category two, the jaegar has been hit, city saved_ flashing in his memory like a beacon at night.

It feels like he’s looking at something private, almost like Ichigo’s stumbled on something too deep for him to be watching, and half of him wants to turn away, run back home and throw himself into his bunk; restlessness be damned. The other half, the bits of him that sound alarmingly like Shiro, all tell him he’s exactly where he needs to be, and if that doesn’t scare Ichigo he’s not sure what will.

“I hear you’re a ranger,” Grimmjow says, after a while, still giving Ichigo his full attention. He gestures first at Ichigo’s body, then at the Bravo, as if asking, _what happened?_

Truth be told, he’s surprised no one’s asked. Maybe its courtesy, or pity, or something completely different. Plenty of people go through jaegar training, and plenty are weeded out; not many have first hand experience with a working jaegar or a real kaiju.

Running a hand through his hair, Ichigo tugs at the strands that tickle his neck. Thinks that he needs a haircut, he should get that sorted, and says, “my brother, Tokyo bay, five years ago.”

It feels like they’ve shared more, not just words that are printed on paper, stacked in manila folders and tucked into filing cabinets, and it’s probably the most Ichigo’s talked about it outside his family. Maybe Grimmjow understands that, in a way only people who have survived their drift partner will know, and Ichigo is all at once startlingly grateful.

“Come on,” Ichigo says, and knocks their elbows together. It feels like somethings passed between them, and Ichigo is like a drowning man clinging to the surface, holding on to Grimmjow’s attention as a raft. “I’ll buy you a drink.”

-

Ichigo doesn't remember much from the few hours he spends in the almost-nice dive bar thats a few blocks from the Shatterdome, sitting at a narrow booth across from Grimmjow, with his knees neatly slotted with the other man's.

At some point Ichigo remembers being tipsy enough to lean over the table, brushing at Grimmjow's scarred and calloused hands. _Shiro had rough hands_ , he thinks he said, knows if he did he would have cracked a smile, and wonders if he pressed Grimmjow's palms open to look at them. _He used to get into a shit tonne of fights._

The maybe-Grimmjow in Ichigo's hazy memory has a shit eating grin, so much like Shiro's that it hurts Ichigo to think about too much. And that's all Ichigo kind of remembers.

-

They’re given five days to get the Bravo in top condition before she’s shipped off back to Panama, pilot not necessarily included, and suddenly Ichigo understands Grimmjow’s strange need to hang around the hanger bay. It’s not so much overseeing as Ichigo first thought, but more seeing off, as if Grimmjow is afraid she’ll be moved if he’s not watching. Ichigo finds himself understanding that well.

He’s walking back from a hurried lunch, tying his hair back into a tie when he stumbles across Grimmjow in the same position since that morning; hair mussed and jacket slightly askew, arms crossed as he leans forward to stare up at the Bravo’s chest.

Sighing, Ichigo grabs his welding gloves and smacks them across the back of Grimmjow’s head, smirking when he gets an explosive reaction.

“Have you eaten?” he asks, and isn’t surprised with the barely-guilty _no_ that he gets. “Come on down by me, I’d enjoy the company.” He’s already pulling a few muesli bars from his pocket, tossing them Grimmjow’s way, and fully expects to find the other man following him down.

Grimmjow does follow, in the end, and sits cross legged on the floor beside Ichigo’s work station. It’s just the two of them as Ichigo works through the lunch hour, then the shift changes, and then Yuzu and Karin are calling out their goodbyes from the hanger. Grimmjow stays quiet, staring up at his jaegar like a little kid staring at his most prized possession, and Ichigo understands that, too.

-

The next day Ichigo clocks in early and makes straight for the cafeteria, making a beeline for the coffee pots and grabbing a couple of slices of toast on the way. He’s got one slice shoved in his mouth, pouring milk into his mug, when he takes another look at the empty line of coffee cups and thinking, _why not_ , and pours another. He grabs both cups with one hand, heads back to the food line for some more toast.

When Ichigo gets to his station he isn’t surprised to find Grimmjow already there, this time in his seat. Ichigo rolls his eyes, but hands him the spare mug anyway.

Grimmjow blinks down at the cup. “I grabbed some stuff,” Ichigo says, and dumps milk cups, sugar sachets and his food on the cluttered desk area, after clearing away a big enough space. “Help yourself.”

Turns out Grimmjow is happy with no sugar or milk, and makes a start on Ichigo’s toast, and he stays all day.

-

The next day is the same, and the day after that Grimmjow drags Ichigo to eat at the cafeteria rather than with the Bravo. On the last day he has with her, Ichigo knows that the Pantera Bravo is the best condition she can be, and she even meets Grimmjow’s high expectations, which says a lot.

“Listen,” Ichigo starts, in between packing away his kit. Grimmjow stops spinning in his chair long enough to give Ichigo his attention. “Did you wanna head out for lunch? My shout.”

Grimmjow’s expression goes from muted to sleazy in three seconds flat, his mouth tweaked at the corners into a sly grin. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

“Oh my god,” Ichigo manages, and tries not to laugh. It’s nice, to be honest, to share this with someone- Grimmjow even. “Are you that desperate? Sure, whatever. I know a great place.”

They leave the shatterdome a little after one, and Ichigo hates to admit that he’s going to miss this.

-

Two more days until Pantera Bravo leaves for Panama, and Ichigo is back to lackey work; fixing what needs to be fixed, helping with what few jaegars their shatterdome is lucky to have, and doing what needs to be done. He spends the time wondering what Grimmjow is doing, if he’s eating, if he knows where he’ll be going next. To say he’s distracted would be like saying that the world is fucked.

The day before the Bravo is set to be shipped Ichigo has the day off, so of course he heads down to the shatterdome. It’s become habit at this point, to check in early, to see his higher ups [who all tell him to go home], to see Grimmjow.

Thing is, Ichigo knows that he has to shake his fixation on the other man. No matter what Ichigo understands that he’ll travel with the Bravo, even if its just for team support or if he finds a partner or not, he’ll go where she goes. And Ichigo knows why, if the Alpha was still around he’d do the same in a heartbeat. [He’s not, Tensa was scrapped and taken to Oblivion Bay.]

Ichigo’s walking past the training quarters, deciding to take the long route to the Bravo’s jaegar bay, when he hears it.

It’s fighing, it occurs to Ichigo a step too late; organized fighting, grunts and breaths measured in beats. Someone’s in the middle of a drift compatibility test, and damn if Ichigo isn’t interested.

He makes his way to the noise, aware of the gathering crowd of onlookers, and stands towards the back where he can just make out blue hair and a lazy grin.

“What’s up?” Ichigo asks the technician beside him.

“Jaegarjacquez is finally going through his candidates,” the technician says excitedly. The bottom of Ichigo’s stomach falls out, even as his heart aches in sympathy. He never managed the nerve to try again, and he has a moment of second hand pride that Grimmjow said yes to the suggestion.

Ichigo struggles to the front, even if it takes him a good ten minutes to do so, and when he finally gets there its to see Grimmjow laying the candidate flat on the floor, stick pointed at his throat, a snarl on his lips.

Ichigo thinks this is a stupid time to find that attractive, and curses himself.

“That’s all of them, marshall!” Grimmjow shouts, turns and gives the Marshall overseeing this a look. “He’s down as compatible, right? I fuckin’ know he is!”

The Marshall gives Grimmjow a tense look. “He did not put himself forward.”

“Then force him!” Grimmjow hisses, and starts to stalk the training room like a caged animal. It’s the hottest thing Ichigo’s ever bared witness to. “Find Kurosaki, bring him here, and-”

“What?” the word falls out of Ichigo’s mouth before he tells it to stay right there. The candidates gathered in front of him all start, and the technician beside him knocks their shoulders together.

The crowd parts. Grimmjow’s face lights up like a goddamn Christmas tree, and he points at Ichigo.

“Him. I want to drift with him.”

-

They fight. It ends up five-four to Ichigo, and only barely. Grimmjow is a cocky bastard about the entire situation, and for some reason it never occurs to Ichigo to say _no_.

-

Ichigo tells his dad first, because his dad has always made the hard choices in their family. To move or stay, to open or close.

“Do you want this?” Isshin asks over his folded hands. Ichigo stares into his lukewarm tea, thinks carefully about piloting with Grimmjow Jaegarjacquez, and finds that yes, he really wants this.

“Yeah,” Ichigo tells his dad, assured, steady.

At the back of his head there’s a voice that sounds a lot like his brothers, saying something along the lines of, _about fucking time, aibou_ , and Ichigo has never agreed more.

-

Yuzu and Karin are only worried that Grimmjow might be an asshole the entire time, and Ichigo reassures them that yes, Grimmjow will be, but now he has permission from higher ups to pummel the idiot into the ground whenever he wants.

Karin says, “well that’s all that matters,” and the twins engulf him in a stronger hug than Ichigo remembers, and knows that all three of them are thinking about that fourth gap they’ve never filled.

-

Two hours later and Ichigo is staring at his reflection, at the familiarity of _Coming Back_ and knowing that in less than ten minutes, Grimmjow is going to know all his dark dirty secrets, and that he’ll know Grimmjow’s in return, and finds that he’s okay with that.

So they’ve barely talked; if Ichigo is honest he feels like they’ve shared more in the heavy silences surrounding the Bravo than in the meaningless words they’ve spoken. That probably says a lot more than Ichigo is willing to admit right now, but he’ll get around to it.

The Bravo’s conn pod is beautiful, completely different from the Alpha, and Ichigo counts the small blessings.

“I’ll take the left,” Grimmjow says, a breeze in Ichigo’s ear, and he turns to give the blue haired man a sharp glare. “I know how much you like the right, and my arms fucked.” He's even grinning, the idiot, and it's such a sharp contrast to their first encounter-

[Ichigo's head full of machine plans and schematics, letting himself be drowned in the sound of the Jaegar's all around him, and Grimmjow like a punch to the gut in the middle of it all.]

-that Ichigo can't help but stare at him for a long while; memorise the curve of his mouth, how straight and white his teeth are. His skin used to be tanned darker than everyone else in the Shatterdome when Grimmjow first arrived with the Bravo, like he'd spent days in the sun waiting, but now he looks pale in his black Jaegar gear, hair pushed back and damp.

Grimmjow is.

He's _stunning,_ is the thing. It wasn't as if Ichigo never knew this; didn't ever stare at Grimmjow from the corner of his eye and think, _fuck me_ , or imagine what his hair felt like between his fingers. Never noticed how Grimmjow was just Big, and how Ichigo felt small and safe next to him, even before they started to- orbit each other.

Now he looks gorgeous, like this is the man Ichigo was supposed to meet that first day the Bravo arrived. Tall and hardened, with a sharp smirk and sharper eyes, like a proud big cat staring at him from a pedestal. Ichigo knows he's flushed, because his tells are _so obvious_ , so he does the appropriate thing and whispers, “ _jesus_ ”.

“Yeah.” Grimmjow is still all teeth, but now his gaze has softened, like he's already in Ichigo's head. “You too.”

-

The drift for Ichigo had always been calm, an eternal space that felt like a town underwater. With Shiro it had been sharpened to a knifes edge, and together they'd stood on the precipe of that point and understood each other completely.

With Grimmjow, it's like standing in the middle of a white dessert, extending on either side and going on forever and ever. When Ichigo breathes in, it tastes like salt water and grief, and he can see snatches of shadows in the corner of his eyes, something demanding his attention but not wanting to call for it.

“Hey,” Grimmjow's voice is echoing, and his hand is heavy when it slams down on Ichigo's shoulder. “Don't run away from me, Kurosaki.”

Ichigo's next breath is fresh, smelling like the inside of his drivesuit and relay gel, and when he blinks he sees the inside of Bravo's conn pod. Grimmjow is there with him, _I'm here with you,_ and.

_I'm here._

-

Ichigo is thirteen when the first kaiju attacks; he remembers it when he smells burnt toast, when he's watching the news and can't stand it anymore, when Yuzu and Karin climb into his bunk and they cling to each other.

Ichigo is fifteen when Gran Fisher destroys his home; he remembers it when he sists with his dad at night, tucked up on the couch together with hot tea in their hands, and they share their heartache and Ichigo misses his mum

Ichigo is twenty one when his brother dies. He still can't stand to go back to Tokyo, and he wakes up scared and terrified and looks for Shiro in the corner of his room, but Ichigo lets himself remember Shiro for who he was: his best friend, and the idiot who dragged them into any mess possible.

When Ichigo wakes up, its because the sun is shining on his face. The curtains of his cabin are pulled back, letting in as much light as possible, and the bunk opposite his is empty. When Ichigo blinks, the memories of his dreams start to fade away into white noise, and a voice that sounds suspiciously like Grimmjow's whispers, _come find me._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> so i started this fic in 2014 and then my laptop crashed, and i've only just found it again after a year of slowly adding to it? then i caught up and finished bleach, cried for two minutes, and then slammed open my laptop to finish this off


End file.
